by Gemma Graham
Joining the Girls Out Loud programme and becoming a Big Sister changed my life. I don’t use that statement lightly, but the lessons I learnt and the person I became throughout the course of the programme had such a profound, positive impact on every element of my life, from both a personal and a workplace perspective.
I remember my first day on the programme – I walked through the training room as an outwardly confident young woman who was internally really struggling; trying to do it all and be it all with no real true sense of self. Little did I know, that day would be the first day of my journey to discovering who I was and what I could be. I had initially been riddled with self-doubt – what on earth did I have to offer? As someone who had a tumultuous childhood, perpetually stuck as the middle girl – the very type of girl that this programme is designed to support, I felt largely unqualified. However, the training day really challenged all my preconceptions and encouraged me to reflect on my thoughts, feelings and the value that I had to offer to others and to myself.
When I first met my little sister that I had been paired up with, I thought to myself – “Wow, she really could be my little sister!” – Not only in her traits and mannerisms but also, we really looked like sisters! We instantly bonded and like me, she seemed initially confident but I could tell that it only ran surface deep and beyond that, was a girl that felt a bit lost, struggling to find her place and figure out who she was; like most of us I suspect. Initially, we talked about her hopes and her dreams and deep into our discussions, she had a moment of self-actualisation. She realised that she had placed herself into this tiny box, with limits on what she thought she could be and what she could achieve. I didn’t provide advice or instructions on what I thought she could do – instead I listened, deeply and intently and asked her prompting questions to encourage more of her own personal reflections. This continued throughout our time together and during our slime making, chocolate eating sessions, she realised that she could be or do anything she wanted to be – in fact, she had decided she was going to take the world by storm! She hadn’t figured it all out (I don’t think any of us ever do) but she had decided that she could and would figure it out as she went along – she had a long list of passions and knew that whatever she chose to do, she would do with all her might and she would work to be the best at it. She had realised that her potential was limitless.
So there I was, listening to my little sister break her own barriers, aim for the stars and begin unlocking her full power and potential whilst I was stuck in the same limited box that I had put myself in my whole life. At this moment, I knew something had to change. I was inspired. My little sister lit a flame in me that had never yet been sparked. Through listening and encouraging her journey, I realised that I had too had to break through my barriers. I was in a career that didn’t fulfil me and overall I realised that I lacked purpose. My journey on the Girls Out Loud programme, thanks to my little sister and the amazing women that run the programme, made me realise a passion that I had for developing and encouraging others. The days where I had my 1 to 1 sessions with my little sister, where the days where I actually wanted to get out of bed in the morning – which was a rare phenomenon to me. I had discovered that my purpose was to support the growth of others and my fulfilment came from helping people reach their potential. I took the plunge and quit my job – I had no real plan and no safety net to fall back on but I knew that it didn’t matter because the programme had taught me to bold, to be brave and to be beautiful and I knew I had to trust in that. A few weeks later, I landed my dream job as a training and development manager where I get to live out my purpose. I spend my days coaching and mentoring people to thrive and excel and every single day is utterly rewarding. I no longer dread getting out of bed. I no longer contain myself to a limited box. I broke down that box, I broke down my barriers and I broke down my limitations but didn’t do that alone. I did that through the lessons and the values I learnt on the Big Sister programme and I will be forever grateful for how it has changed my life.
